Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
