i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
