I think I died a long time ago.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
