Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
