would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Randomize
