Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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