Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
The convent might be a nice break from real life
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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