Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize