I think my vagina is haunted
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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