Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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