dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
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I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
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He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
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