We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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