I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
