Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
