Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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