K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
thus making me awesome and them whores
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
