wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
there is glitter all over my balls
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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