oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
