oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize