2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize