if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I have fence marks all over my body
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
