I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
