Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
this is an emotional support booty call
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
