oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
