I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
