i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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