On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
