Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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