Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
