three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
this is an emotional support booty call
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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