You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
