Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Randomize
