Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
