The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
