it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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