Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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