Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
