How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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