So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
dude. I can hear the air.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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