did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
