Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Randomize
