it was like his penis was on wheels.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
