I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I love you.
Bad choice
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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