You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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