how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
