Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
The uberlube is also flammable
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
