I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
