I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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