Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
