k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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