We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
