Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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