my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
