This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?