There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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