I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest