she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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