I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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