So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
