Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
