And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
