he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
vagina is talking i cant
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
