I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
