so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
