"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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